Helpless Liar

In the SHM Community Forums, Frank shared some thoughts on how a helpless member can use our forum to lessen her lying tendencies. He wrote:

I like the FIREWOMAN nickname Dini has given you, so I will use that one for you, too, ok?

First, I welcome and also commend you on coming here and admitting your need for help.

Second, I have an idea that might be stupid, but then again it might not. It's something I used to do when I was a kid and lied and lot and I don't know how this works, except that it worked for me and I stopped lying. It's kinda weird, but true.

Here's the idea: Whether you see a therapist or not, what if you used this website, I mean this thread, or a new one, to just "come clean" about every lie.

You might start the thread with some of the biggest whoppers you've told in the past, if you want to get a good start and get those off your chest. Then every time you tell a new lie, vow to yourself you will come here and just document the lie, and the true version of whatever the issue is.

That's it. Nothing fancy. Just use this place to come and set it right. You can throw in old ones in between the new ones if you happen to have more time some days, but just use this place as your safe place, your haven, where you will come and tell the truth.

If people comment, ok.

If not, that's ok too,
because the whole thing would be for YOU,
for you to have a place where the record is set straight and the truth is told.

If you do this, I'd also suggest you never, ever, ever tell anyone, except maybe a therapist who is worn to secrecy, about this place. Sometimes in our attempt to be honest and loved by someone, we might tell people about this place. I've seen some people get really hurt when those trusted people they told about SHM's forums turn on them a year or two later, and then this place becomes unsafe for the person who used it as a haven.

So anyway, it's just a thought, an invitation in a way.

Frank

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