Coping with Depression

In the SHM Community Forums, Joanne responded to one member's concern about his extreme depression. She answered:

Your reply certainly isn't too much. It is very helpful, actually.

It is clear that you know you are suffering from depression, and that you've had this depression on and off much of your life.

When you were a child, it took the form of anger. Justifiable anger, but anger that probably covered your depression at being so alone. Healthy anger, and normal depression, then. Your attempts to get noticed were just interpreted by your parents as something to be controlled, not understood.

Your teacher then took advantage of you. And yes, if you were 14, then it would definitely be considered abuse. Pat, do you know any 14 year olds right now? If you were to go to a high school and just look at them as they come out of school, you will see how young they are, and how vulnerable they are, espcially if they are starved for attention and basic human kindness.

Now you are in a strange country, alone again. The work that helped you fill the void is now absent. You feel the void, the aloneness, and it hurts. You have trouble getting out of bed sometimes.

It is not surprising that the depth of your depression re-occurs. Luckily, your husband understands you, and loves you. He is patient. You made a good choice in a husband.

Now you need to do something about this depression. It is not just situational depression because it has been present much of your life.

The best thing for you to do is to find a well trained therapist. This could take substantial effort, but it will be worth it. Read some other posts on this forum about how to pick one. You probably will need someone with a Ph.D., who does cognitive behavior therapy, and has a decent amount of experience.

You will need the bahvior therapy to help you right now, and the cognitive part to help you identify the thoughts and thought patterns you have learned that keep you depresssed. If you don't get relief within 2-3 months of working weekly or bi-weekly with a good therapist, you ought to seriously consider medication. if you are ok with medication now, your situation certainly warrants a good evaluation by an experienced physician who knows how to prescribe those medications. not just any old physician will do.

Lots of people object to medication, but many more take them and get relief from them. Most people just take them a short time to get themselves to the point where they can benefit the most from their cognitive behavior therapy.

Do you think you can find someone with this type of training in your area?

Do you have any more questions for me?

Let me know what you think of my answer to you, ok?

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